Kristina Note

Kristina Note

“Well, I can see why you would care. You have black kids.”

I’ve stopped counting the number of times that I’ve heard this statement from people. It used to surprise me into silence, but not anymore.

“Do you honestly think that the only reason that someone should care about racial disparity in this country is because it affects them directly?”

That’s usually met with an uncomfortable laugh and a: 

“Well, no, that’s not what I was saying.”

“Why does everything have to be about race?”

“Can’t you just keep race out of this?”

“We don’t know that race had anything to do with it.”

Then it moves to:

“Well, he shouldn’t have run.”

“If he had just listened to the police.”

“If he wasn’t hiding anything, he didn’t have anything to be afraid of.”

“I have a black friend who agrees with me.”

Finally, if really pushed, it becomes:

“The jails aren’t full of innocent people.”

“Maybe if they just stayed in school and stopped having so many babies.”

“You know most crime is black on black.”

“Have you seen a rap video lately? That’s the word they use for themselves.”

I’m not black, which means that a lot of white people feel like they can be honest with me. They can say the things that they would never say to a black person. They think that I’m one of them, so deep down, I must agree with them. When I don’t, it smacks like betrayal. A betrayal that can only be understood through the lens of, “Well, you have black kids, so I can see how you would feel that way.”

What they don’t seem to understand is that when they say that I only care because I have black kids, what they are really saying about themselves is: “I don’t care about your kids. I don’t care about how they have to live in a world where a white woman can threaten a black man by saying that she is going to call the police and say he was threatening her. I’m ok with the fact that crimes against black people have to be filmed in order to be believed. My discomfort facing the truth about race in our country is worth more than the discomfort black people feel living in that country.”

Armed white people stormed the Michigan capital, blocked traffic in Denver and screamed at hospital employees in Arizona. They decried social distancing, ignored orders from authorities, and refused to inconvenience themselves with masks. These protests went on for weeks and spread across the country. Police stood by stoically while thousands disrupted the peace and committed civil disobedience.

Unarmed protesters in Minnesota chanting “I can’t breathe” to protest the death of a black man were met by police in riot gear and fired upon with tear gas and rubber bullets within hours.

Do you really think that this is not about race?

The only people who can say that it’s not about race are the people who don’t have to consider theirs before they act.

Black comfort and safety are put behind white comfort and safety so often that it can be hard to see it because it is accepted as the norm and any deviation from that norm is portrayed as inciteful:

A Confederate flag is history, but a Black Lives Matter T-shirt is intimidation.

A reopen protest is “fighting for liberty” but a protest against police brutality is a “riot.”

Armed white men are pro-Second Amendment patriots, but an unarmed black man is a threat. A white woman decries the tyranny of not being able to get a haircut while black women fight to have laws passed to protect them from being fired for wearing their hair as it grows naturally out of their heads.

It is not enough to say you are not a racist. It’s not enough to say that you don’t see color. 

It is not enough to have black friends.

Love is not enough. Anger is not enough. Action is required.

We must dismantle a system that places the value of white discomfort ahead of black safety.

White people are afraid that change will cost them their comfortable status quo. Black people are afraid that not changing will cost them their lives.

I don’t care about this because I have black children. I care about this because it is right to care, it is right to speak up, it is right to act.

If you don’t care, you’re wrong.

Kristina Nohe is a Prince William County home-schooling teacher and a mother of four teens. This column first appeared in her blog, “Be the Grey Squirrel.”

You must be logged in to react.
Click any reaction to login.

Recommended for you

(43) comments


For racists it is always about the race. More nonsense from the PC police.


More propaganda from the left. 2019 saw a total of 19 shootings involving police officers. Out of the 19 there were 6 involving blacks. The rest were White and other minority groups. Ths article is trash.


Don’t go using facts now, Louf. It’s racist and offensive.

Equal rights

You don’t know what a fallacy argument is do you because you just made one. Just because what you saw does it mean you could pass that data long as a complete data set. That’s a fallacy argument.

Tom Fitzpatrick

Now that you've heard Kris' opinion as a white person, consider viewing this program to get the opinion of black persons Shelby Steele.and Bob Woodson. That is, if you care what actual black people think.


[lol] Using Fawx fake News as a source about race issues.

Tom Fitzpatrick

Did you watch the segment? If you didn't, shame on you. If you did, tell me what about these black veterans of the civil rights movement and LIFE you find offensive.

Equal rights

In case anyone is confused, Candace Owens and other far right heads are the Black face of white supremacy. She makes her living doing and saying the racist things her white employers can't get away with.

There has always been a lane for Black people to make a quick buck if they provide cover for white racism.

just another in a long tradition of Black, white supremacists.


Bout the dumbest comment posted lately


From the Virtue Signaler In-Chief Herself, Kris Nohe.

Her one redemptive quality is that she contributed to her husband being removed from the Prince William County BOCS last year (and was paid handsomely for it, too!).

Tom Fitzpatrick

Please share the details about her payment, of which I was unaware.


Hmm, so I should feel privileged because I am white? Why? I am poor. Work for a living. No minority set-asides for me.


No. You personally may not be privileged. But you as a white person enjoy white privilege (that's different than personal privilege). This means that, no matter what hardships you've worked through with grit and determination, you did not face the barriers that a person of color who had to work through similar hardships does. Because you are white, you are more likely to be treated with empathy by people who give loans, for example. That doesn't mean it's not hard to ask for a loan. That doesn't mean you didn't work hard to pay it off. It just means you were more likely to be granted a loan, or granted a better interest rate, than a person of color.

If your child is sick and you have to find a 24 hour pharmacy to get medicine at 1:00 a.m., you likely did not feel the eyes of every employee in the store on you when you went in. You likely did not feel fear when a police officer came into the store. But if you were a person of color, you would have.

That's not your fault. You did not ask for this privilege. But it's still there. So what you SHOULD feel is outrage that other hard-working people who try, everyday, to do the right thing, do experience this fear and these barriers.

You are not a bad human being for being white. But you do enjoy white privilege, as do I. To refuse to admit that would make you a bad human being.

Tom Fitzpatrick

When I was taking an LSAT prep class, the instructor told the white students to apply "down," and for the black students to apply "up," due to the well documented racism inherent in our thoroughly corrupted system of education, at taxpayer expense, no less.

The same can be said of the workplace, and many, many social interactions. The simple threat of being falsely labeled a racist terrifies white people, not just because of the social stigma attached to it, but because of the very real career, financial and other penalties attached to it. Just as Drew Brees.

This is the sort of crass grasping the community has come to expect from the Nohe's. Using any deceitful angle to try to advance their agenda. Which is not the betterment of society. It is the betterment of the Nohe's, financially and politically, not morally.

Of course, by their estimation, to disagree is, well, racist.

Of course.

When in actuality, this entire piece is inherently racist, by any objective definition of the term.

Congratulations! Even out of office and out of favor, you both continue to damage the community. The entire community.


Wow, Tom Fitzpatrick you are so right about the Nohe’s.

Here is the link to Marty’s campaign expenditures. NGD Consulting, his second highest paid vendor is...Kris Nohe.

It takes a special blend of corruption as a politician (Marty Nohe) and incompetence as a campaign manager (Kris Nohe) to lose to John Gray.

Tom Fitzpatrick

That is interesting, Drronchapman. I try to verify everything that I am told, and it appears to certainly be the case (ownership - I didn't add up the amounts, which appear considerable).

What was also interesting was when I checked out the address, and then tried to confirm that with the County real property mapping. Wow. Marty and Kris are farmers! Their property is zoned agricultural. I wonder how that affects the rates?

Considering the appoints being made by current BOCS members of family members to paying positions, I would be very interested to see compensation to all family members, to evaluate the sources of those incomes.

Does anyone know who owns the building that the Appliance Connection is in, and how a PWC government tenant came to reside there, and what they pay for rent, and to whom?


So Joseph by me being responsible for my actions, paying my bills on time, and being a parent to my children and taking responsibility for all my actions I should be guilt shamed into buying your white liberal privilege outrage. No thanks and it does not make me a bad person. I do care about my fellow man.


And no breaks ever. Shove it with your white shame guilting Joseph Kennedy. Any relation to Ted Chappaquiddick Kennedy?


I just love when people say I'm a white male and I have no privilege... For God's sake... you were born with automatic privilege from this country. I agree with everything the writer has written in this column. Racism is alive and well in Prince William county as I saw everyday ,every year, when I worked in the public schools there for 30 years.


I've seen racism alive and well in the school system and washed under the rug. But not what you are portraying.


You can shove your white shaming up your a Ella82. I am dirt poor. I have never had affirmative action or set asides.


And you think biden is going to make a change. Hes been in government 30 years and now he's going to make changes.?? You must be kidding. Trump is done more for minorities than any other president. Look it up.


Where should I look this up? I have found nothing Trump has done "more for minorities than any other president," so I need assistance.

I HAVE found data showing that the unemployment gap, before COVID-19, between people of color and the general unemployment numbers, is smaller than it has been in decades. I don't think that President Trump can claim credit for that, as he has not initiated any policies nor programs designed to lower the gap.


You are a special kind of stupid, aren't you?

Equal rights

The birther n chief


Equal rights you do realize that term came from Hillary Clinton. (Birther). When Hillary ran against Obama in 2008. You need focus.


Do you want to know why the protesters in Minnesota were hit with tear gas and rubber bullets while the protesters in Michigan were not? Hint: it's not because the Michigan protesters were white (yes, most of them were, but not all of them). It's because they were armed. Government, by extension of the police force, exerts its will on the People by possessing a monopoly on force. They are empowered by the people to use that force to maintain law and order. The problem becomes when there are no check on that power and the government abuses the trust of the People by abusing their monopoly on force and failing to hold itself accountable for its actions. When the People meet the government with an equal or greater force, the government is no longer maintains their monopoly on force and is persuaded to meet the People on equal terms. If you fire rubber bullets and teargas at unarmed protesters, you can exert your will as you see fit, whether it is right or wrong to do so. When you fire rubber bullets and tear gas at armed protesters, you invite retribution; it would be suicidal for either side, government or protester, to escalate the situation using weapons. This is the principle of "Mutually Assured Destruction" and it kept the U.S. and Russia from initiating open warfare and nuclear conflict with one another for half a century.

If the Minnesota protesters had been as well armed as the Michigan protesters, I assure you that the police would not have utilized tear gas and rubber bullets on them. There is also something to be said for the responsibility that protesters being armed entails; it is possible that the small segment of provocateurs that were mixed in with the protesters might have been less inclined to loot and vandalize if a contingent of the protesters were peaceably armed.

You can agree with the concept of protesters being armed or not, but it's hard to disagree with the fact that police are less likely to attempt heavy-handed tactics if there's a possibility of inciting armed conflict via their actions.

Tom Fitzpatrick

It's because they weren't violent, looting, burning terrorists. Make a note for future reference.


Ok so I wasnt going to respond but jeez there was simply too much to let go.

Look, there are bad people everywhere and in every single job in America. Good cops are over shadowed by a handful of truly rotten ones.

Good and true politicians are over shadowed by greedy corrupt people that pass laws they dont have to follow.

Black kids with average grades can get into Harvard with far less credentials then say Asian kids.

We see on the streets of DC, before this madness, minority kids with pants past there lower cheeks walking 4 or 5 abreast on the sidewalk forcing all others into the streets.

We see a huge black kid having a crimi al history assault an old man then reach into a cop car to steal his gun only to be killed by said cop and the family gets a boatload of cash for their troubles.


The media shows us bad...bad sells. I am sure your kids are great ones to live next door to, but bad sells

Now a proposal for my taxes to go up so all blacks, who are assumed to be decended from slavery, wod get nearly $400,000...really?

My people weren't here during slavery they were Canadian Native Americans, Irish and German (go figure). But because I am a white Male I have to kowtow, feel bad, take a less job cuz surely I am loaded with white privilege. I can assure you I live paycheck to paycheck...some priveledge.

Recently, I managed a loading dock from 10pm to 6 am( you know cuz I am so priviledged) and I had black guys who had 3 and 5 respectively different IDs so they could get many monthly payments. They had great clothes, lots of cash and a good attitude. They laughed at me all the time for playing by the rules.

So folks so do t think of this point in time as a moment, create possible solutions so you create a movement .

There is plenty of black priveledge, I live it and sadly the media only plays up 30 killed on any given weekend in Chicago.

I am a white male... I have no priviledge and no one will make me feel smaller then Karen's already try to do from their Country Club, nice car and Wegmans bags.


Catharpin, I’m sorry to hear about your troubles, that you were laughed at for following the rules, and that you live paycheck to paycheck. Now, imagine if you had to deal with all that AND ALSO had to worry every time you went out jogging, every time you went for a drive in your car, and even every time you were just relaxing at home or in your own backyard that you were going to be arrested, imprisoned, or even murdered by the police for no reason.

“White privilege” doesn’t mean that all whites are rich, or cultural elites, or even well off. It means that because we’re white, we don’t have to worry about certain things, like having the cops called on us for taking a walk in our own neighborhood, or being blockaded into our subdivision by a complete random stranger demanding to see our ID, or being slowly choked to death over the course of 8 minutes in front of multiple witnesses because we were suspected of forging a check.

I’ve also worked the overnight shift at a warehouse and lived paycheck to paycheck, and you couldn’t pay me enough In Harvard scholarships, cash restitution, or Wegmans bags to trade my “white privilege” for this supposed “black privilege.”


Kris, your Op-Ed piece was exactly what I needed to post my own “Listen Up, White Allies” commentary. Thank you, Good Human. Let’s continue to speak up and out. Much love! 🙂


Thank you for so clearly stating this problem. Racial disparity is not limited to black people. Since our new leadership took over 3 years ago, it seems anyone who has a natural tint to their skin is fair game. I think it is really a shame that mothers have to tell their sons how to appear"non-threatening" if stopped by a policeman - not just to be polite, but how to potentially save their life!


i have very dark skin, never had a problem. in fact, i had more issues living ON my reservation than off.


Kris, you just hit the ball out of the park! Homerun! I don't think I have ever read a better, more meaningful opinion piece. Kudos to you.


To "Cultured2014" So, because someone wants to make a positive difference, but it does not cover every aspect of the problem, you try to shut the writer down. Nobody should try at all? Because that is the message you are sending. Comments like yours are a big part of why I so rarely post anything anymore. Rather than this myopic view, could you consider that groups of people working towards a common goal across racial divides may be the solution here? Christina, thank you for putting yourself out there.


so where was she before? why now? why not an op-ed way back? i'm glad she's passionate about it, but i'm really curious on the time for this and others coming out of the woodwork with their opinion pieces.


first, black people dont have the monopoly on being affected by race. native americans have been affected by racial issues far before black people ever arrived on this continent. want to address racism? talk about everyone. how about the native americans that are shoved on reservations and have the lowest poverty levels in the united states? dont see you talking about them. if you are not talking about them, then you simply have nothing to add to this conversation.


So, do you agree that it's all about race, but you feel Kristina isn't focusing broadly enough? If so, pelase consider leading with that; it will make your post more meaningful and make it sound less like an attack.

Second, do you feel that every opinion expressed about race must attempt to consider all the different ways United States federal policy, state policies, and local ordinances discriminate, denigrate, and oppress people? If so, perhaps you should lead with an acknowledgment that our country is literally built on land seized through genocide, rape, and forced resettlement, that our buildings and infrastructure and economy were created by literally enslaving people, and that many of our services and goods are produced cheaply today only by taking advantage of migrant workers and new Americans. Of course, that would mean it IS all about race.


a lot of countries are built on land that is either siezed or conquered. started off good, but then devolved into drivel.


Native Americans in their own country is an important topic. Why don't you write an opinion piece about it. I would like to read it as it is a subject near and dear to my heart.

However, Kris wrote about black issues in America. That's her right and it is certainly topical. She did a beautiful job.

I look forward to reading your opinion piece about Native Americans, especially since indigenous people have been hit especially hard by COVID.


indeed they have and are being affected by COVID. Race is important, but it's not the end all, be all of the conversation. she can talk about whatever she wants to be honest. i'm curious though..why now? because everyone else is?

Tom Fitzpatrick

People who make poor life choices get poor life results.

The Chinese Virus is a prime example. In this timely example, we can look at circumstances and behavior over months, not years, decades and centuries, to see the correlation between poor choices in this case and poor outcomes, which should be manifesting themselves in the next week or two. Assuming there is any truth to what the frauds at NIH have told us about social distancing, masks, and such.


So perfectly stated. Thank you

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.